A relationship of 3 months

It’s a rain forest and a dry desert.

It’s the Mount Everest and the Dead Sea.

It’s an apple and a bougainvillea.

It’s the Young India Fellowship.

It’s cold and hot.

It’s hot and cold.

It’s yellow and grey.

It’s addictive and exhaustive.

It’s stressful and carefree.

It’s the yin and the yang.

3 months.

It’s the longest I’ve stayed away from her. 

Ever since the history of one December 24th.

Tomorrow I’m flying to visit her and now I wish I could be there in two places at the same time.

Like really.

Really really!

Attachment?

Umm, I don’t know. 

It’s a strange relationship. 

It makes me happy. 

It makes me sad. 

It makes me want for more.

Some more. 

Always!

It’s addictive.

And exhaustive.

Strangely queer.

Queerly weird.

Is it good or bad?

I don’t know. 

It’s addictive.

That’s all I know.

Meanwhile.. in the background..

B : Queer ah?

A : Queer has two meanings. 

B : Bachelors in English Economics ah?

Beat playing at a distance .. I’m a Barbie girl..in the Barbie world 

C : Why are they here? 

B : Writing something!

C : P ah?

Crowd enters!

What’s happening!!

As I complete I’m called .....

Chatter chatter…

It doesn’t end.

Goes on….

C : Singing.. I’m a Barbie girl..na na na na na..

C : I passed a psychopath exam in distinction. I was very proud that day.

B : Enough! We know!!

Khwabon ke parindey.. ☺️

Every picture has a story, right?

This too has one.

The painting has a story, and its picture too has a story.

My attempt to describing it seemed like a caterpillar. Blah!

Never mind! Late night revelations. :p 

Here's a butterfly of the same.

P.S - Off late, I'm too much into poetry. 

Reading poetry, writing poetry, right now listening to poetry and completing a sketchbook.

Here's some late night poetry and a painting that's right beside me - making me add more sense to the lyrics on loop. (:

Udein, khule aasaman mein khwabon ke parindey

Udein, dil ke jahaan main khaabon ke parindey

Oho, kya pata, jaayenge kahaan

Khule hain jo par, kahe yeh nazar

Lagta hai ab hain jaage hum

Fikrein jo thi, peechhe reh gayi

Nikle unse aage hum

Hawaon mein beh rahi hai zindagi

Yeh hum se keh rahi hai zindagi

Oho.. ab to, jo bhi ho so ho..

Ude, khule aasaman mein khwabon ke parindey

Ude, dil ke jahaan mein khwabon ke parindey

Oho, kya pata, jayenge kahaan

Kisi ne chhua toh yeh hua

Phirte hain mehke mehke hum

Khoye hain kahin baatein nayi

Jab hain aise behke hum

Hua hai yoon ke dil pighal gaye

Bas ek pal mein hum badal gaye

Oho.. ab to, jo bhi ho so ho..

Roshni mili

Ab raah mein hai ek dilkashi si barsi

Har khushi mili

Ab zindagi pe hai zindagi si barsi

Ab jeena hum ne seekha hai

Yaad hai kal, aaya tha wo pal

Jisme jaadoo aisa tha

Hum ho gaye jaise naye

Woh kal jaane kaisa tha

Kahe yeh dil ki jaa udhar hi tu

Jahan bhi leke jaaye aarzoo

Oho, ab toh...

Jo bhi ho so ho..

పర్ణసాల - A telugu novel

నేను పూర్తిగా చదివిన మొట్టమొదటి తెలుగు నవల.

తెలుగు సాహిత్యం పట్ల ఇతివరకెన్నడూ ఊహించని ఆసక్తిని పెంపొందించిన నవల.

జీవితం అందించే ఎన్నో పాఠాలలో ఒక పాఠాన్ని కళ్ళకు కట్టినట్టు ఒక ప్రయాణంలా పరిచయం చేసిన నవల.

The story revolves around money.

How important or unimportant it is when related to happiness?

కథ ప్రారంభంలొ ఇద్దరు వ్యక్తులమధ్య వాదులాట జరుగుతూ ఉంటుంది -

ఒకరేమో డబ్బు ఉంటేనే ప్రేమానురాగాలు ఉంటాయి అనీ, మరొకరేమో డబ్బుకీ వాటికీ సంబంధమే లెదనీ, ప్రేమానురాగాలు డబ్బు అనే కాగితాలతొముడిపడి ఉండవనీ.

కథలొ, డబ్బు ఉంటేనే ప్రేమ ఉంటుంది అనేవారికి జీవితంలొ వారు చూడనంత డబ్బు ఒక్కసారిగా నటింట్లొ తాండవం చేస్తుంది, కానీ అది ప్రేమానురాగాలని తనవెంట తీస్కురాకపోగా - ఉన్న ప్రేమని ప్రేమతొ ప్రేమగా ప్రేమించనివ్వదు.

డబ్బు తొ ప్రేమానురాగాలు ముడిపడి  ఉండవు  అన్న వారికి ఉన్న డబ్బు అంతా పోతుంది, దానితొపాటే జీవితంలొ ప్రస్తుతం ఉన్న ప్రేమానురాగాలు కూడా దబ్బు లేక కొన్ని, దబ్బు కోసం కొన్ని, బంధాలు బాంధవ్యాలు తెంచుకుని వెల్లిపోతాయి.

ఒక చాలా సంక్లిష్టమైన ప్రయాణం తర్వాత తిరిగి ఆ ఇద్దరూ మళ్ళి కలిసినప్పుడు, ఒకరి అభిప్రాయం ఒకరు తప్పు అని, వారి వారి అనుభవ పూర్వక జ్ఞానంతొ తిరిగి సంభాషించుకుంటారు.

—

ఇంతకీ డబ్బు ప్రేమానురాగాలని తెస్తుందా?

అవి రెండూ ముడిపడి ఉంటాయా?

డబ్బు గొప్పదా?

సంతోషం గొప్పదా?

డబ్బు సంతోషాన్ని తెస్తుందా?

పోనీ, సంతోషం డబ్బుని కొనగలదా?

సంతోషంగా ఉండటానికి డబ్బు కావాలా?

ఎంత కావాలి?

డబ్బుతొసంతోషం వస్తుందా? 

ఒస్తె, ఎంత సంతోషం వస్తుందీ?

డబ్బు అవసరాన్ని బట్టి కావాలి. 

మన అవసరాలేంటి? 

దానికి ఎంత కావాలి?

అది సంపాదించడానికి ఎంత కష్టపడాలి?

ఎలా కష్టపడాలి?

ఇవీ! మనం తెలుసుకోవలసినవి.

అసలు డబ్బు అనేదే లేకపోతే -  కొపం, చిరాకు, అసహనం ప్రేమానురాగాల స్థానాన్ని భర్తీ చేస్తాయి.

ఎక్కువ ఉంటే, ఎలా దన్ని భధ్రపరుచుకోవాలో అన్న ఆందోళనలోనె సమయం ఖర్చు ఐపోతుంది.

మరి ఎంత కావాలి? మనకి ఎంత అవసరమో, దానికంటే కాస్త ఎక్కువ - రేపు థుఫాను వస్తే భయపడకుండా ఎదుర్కోగలిగేంత, ఈరోజు సంతోషంగా ఎలాంటి బాధలబంధీ లేకుండా గడపగలిగేంత.

సంతోషం - డబ్బు, ఇవి రెండు ట్విన్స్.

ఏది తక్కువైనా, ఏది మితిమీరినా, జీవితం అస్తవ్యస్తం అవుతుంది.

ఎలా అంటారా?

చెట్టు పెరగటానికి, ఎండ ఎంత ముఖ్యమో నీరూ అంతే ముఖ్యం కదా?

రాగం, తాళం, ష్రుతి, లయ - అన్నిటి కలయికేగా సంగీతం? 

ఏది హద్దుదాటినా, ఏది కరువైనా - మొక్క ఎండిపోతుందీ, సంగీతం కరతాల ధ్వనిగా మారిపోతుంది. :)

Indrakeeladri - Summer '15 :)

Vijayawada.

Popularly known for it's heat, it's the heart of Andhra. (Andhra Pradesh is a state in South India) Since the telangana agitation, it's been topping the list of nominations as the capital of the new state of divided Andhra Pradesh. And also, it's home to the famous Kanaka Durga Temple situated atop the Indrakeeladri Hill on the banks of river Krishna.

Heading towards the temple post noon, all I could feel was the glaring sun- striking sharply in my eyes, blinding me for brief moments. Hoping I'd hit nobody on my way, I continued to sarcastically appreciate my mom's choice of a post noon visit to the temple. Slowly, yet steadily, the sky adorned a dramatic look. I was looking to my left, with my mouth agape, as the sun danced on Krishna's water. And then as the view got blocked by a high wall, my mom breathed in relief, thanking god for sparing the lives of a newly wed couple who were crossing the road right in front of our car. Okay wait, I didn't hit them. I time my sightseeing and break at the 'right' time, always. :D

Sadly, I didn't carry my camera as the temple prohibits photography in the interiors. Here are a couple of shots I could pull off with my phone.

The sky was SO dramatic. It was as if the clouds came completely prepared to tease me if I could capture the way they danced on the skies, changing every now and then, presenting one dramatic frame after another.

Solar lighting.

The new Gopuram.

A view of the city from the Shiva's temple.

Yes, it's all gold!

Shloky :)

Shloky turns 10 months!

kaaa kaa kaa kaaaa ka, go faster. Even more faster. I said faster!! 

Yaaaaaaaay!

I have two teeth. 

I can bite anything. 

Your finger, your nail.

Your hand, your hair.

Anything!!

Who's that girl?? *beaming smile*

That's a Sub by the way.

Smiles are contagious. :)

Do you fall in love with words?

Do you fall in love with words?
I do. :)
Suddenly reading about something, somewhere, I stumble upon a string of alphabets, tied together in a way that stops my breath for a brief moment. This generally doesn't happen quite often. Very rare.

It's like, a single word can sum up all I've been yearning to put together for quite sometime. It's when so many stories running in my head in parallel paths come to a standstill, when I get to call all of them by one single name. All of a sudden, when I encounter a word that aptly describes what I've been wanting to name all the while, it stops. It (my breath) stops for a brief moment, there's a sense of unknown relief that hovers all over me. It's like naming a thought that's been a part of me for so long. 

And the word is
Sonder.

I've been pondering at regular intervals about it for so long, only never realised it has a name. Well, it's not recognised by the Oxford lexicographers. Yet, whatever description I've found with the help of google uncle, swept me off my feet!

It says - "the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own -- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness -- an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk."  

The above breathlessness can absolutely be related to the elation I've experienced on the sight of this word. When I first read the description I'm like - Yes! Yes! Yes! I've experienced similar stories run between my two ears all the while. Each time I go past busy streets, all I noticed are walking 'stories', inumerable stories with human heads. Previously and even now, I continue to appreciate the co-existence of such dissimilarities ( until now, keeping it only to myself) , I never tried naming them though. It's a feeling, an absolutely pleasant one. 


The moment I realised the sync,  an unknown voice started talking to me - It said, "This is what I've been trying to communicate to you, your thoughts aren't directionless, they mean something, and a person who shared a similar thought has coined a name for it.  You have a mind friend. " -  meaning - there lived a person who shared a thought similar to mine without the either of us knowing each other. :D Awesome, right?!

Sonder : The realisation that everyone has a story. 

P.S - This word is coined by John Koenig, the author of 'The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows'.

P.P.S - Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is a lexicon of emotions we don't have words for.

A wizened face.

A white stubble, weak chin, and grey-watery eyes filled with sorrowful silence. He looks as if a puff of wind could blow him down right away. He has a wizened face and a back slightly hunched. A resigned look, reflecting his knowledge about the fact that life at his age stops giving and only takes away.

Everyday, he wakes up before the sun, he makes some rice in a light metal pot, sweeps around his lonely home and heads to the main road to have some tea. He spends the entire morning observing the infrequent comings and goings in the street. He had done this for years and knew the schedule of everyone who passed by.



He gets home for lunch and again walks back to the only place that awaits his coming, sits there until sunset, watching the crows clutter the blue sky above the land he knows.



It's been a year since his beloved departed to the regions he believes to be above him. He had long since forgotten how it feels to be fed by gentle hands and looked at by caring eyes. Everybody seems to want a long life, but what good is it if your partner is no longer on the journey of your life? The look on his face is always asking this question, again and again - troubling him like none other.

These days, he doesn't talk much, he spends the day with his dear friend, Mr.Silence. He sits near the well infront of his house, lost in those good old days of their past.

His sons moved out for a better life in the cities. His grand children visited him while I was trying to catch a snap of him. He went inside, ignoring the fact that he had visitors, it might have been anger, loneliness and a hell lot emotions taking charge at him all at once. They waited for a while and walked in, all I could hear was the sob of an old man refusing to acknowledge his own grandchildren. He probably didn't want to meet someone who weren't there when they were needed the most. And then I heard high pitched voices of them, urging him to come over with them. He knows nothing beyond the boundaries of his village, now I guess it's too late to move out and adopt a new lifestyle. He refused.

He surely wasn't happy out there. Living a solitary life is ofcourse nothing less than hell. Inspite of that he chose not to leave his home. Why? I really wanted to ask him this and many more questions? Out of them all, I wanted to know what he thinks life is all about? I couldn't sum up the courage to go meet him at that plight.

The wrinkles on his face spoke of a journey nothing less than 7 decades old. The lines under his eyes were narrating stories of laughter and warm smiles they were once known for. Now, those very lines are frequently wetted in the memory of someone very dear. Probably, the elixir of life for him, are his memories and a place to relive them all - in the abode of silence.

Hope he finds peace. :)

Full Moon.

It was a journey, from a cityscape to a countryside.
As the engine fired to life, the concrete jungle seemed to fade away with every passing second. She always enjoyed the cityscapes, for it were them which greeted her unfailingly each morning. City had a sense of unbridled freedom, air that she could breath without a second thought, inspite of fully being aware of the rising pollution levels. Also, countrysides always fascinated her with starlit skies and unfathomable emotions.
30 minutes into the journey, the changing outlook of the world was vividly clear as she looked out of the window trying to trace the moon, the much acquainted polluted air was long gone. Was the freedom too gone with the polluted air?
No. It's true that she was scared it would, it only turned out to be more liberating. :)

Now, it was a fresh breath. As she comfortably took deep breaths, she could feel the heaviness of the country air in her breath, suspended with invisible bands of attachment, coupled with a sense of togetherness. Finally, under the starlit sky, it came to light - a supressed yearning of a journey for which she waited too long, unknowingly.

There were two worlds,
One - the one she just left, where the night is always painted with innumerable lights from various sources.
Another - the one she just entered, where the night was nothing but moon speckled darkness, reflecting a shadowy world painted in silver.
Inspite of the stark difference between both the worlds, she wanted to continue travelling with the moon.
Why?
Probably out of curiosity, like a kid who wants to continue the journey only to keep looking at the moon, assuming it is following her. She comfortably ignored to acknowledge the fact that the moon travelled at its own pace, as she did.

She didn't know anything about the moon, but for what was conveyed through the soothing silvery moonlight, which came down from thousands of miles. Yet, whatever she sensed, she liked and wanted to trust. There was a battle, between her intelligence and conscience. Her intelligence saying "This is insane", her conscience continuously playing "May be you should let this happen". She chose to take a risk, for it seemed to be something worth risking for, for with the moon came the stars, lots and lots of them.

Where was she travelling to? It didn't seem that important, though it flashed every now and then, like a cloud which obstructs the moon, leaving the road she took - invisible; most of the time, not letting her see which road she was taking. The journey was what she was happy for, for it brought a smile on her face, for each time she saw the moon, she noticed the moon smiling back at her.

She couldn't comprehend what it was. It seemed incorrigibly complicated. Basing her journey on mere moonlight seemed insane, for the moon wasn't there always, he'll be there and he'll not be there. He'll be there again only to disappear again.

'Often, truth, when it's being lived and experienced, is less glamourous than imaginings.' With a full moon came a no moon. She disliked the wanning as much as she embraced the waxing. She was too involved in embracing the mighty Yin, in the process, leaving Yang unnoticed.
The circle wasn't complete.
After all, a Yin 'and' a Yang make a Yin-Yang.
There she was, in a fix, the one she laid out for herself, knowingly.
A state of feeling everything, yet, feeling nothing at all. Fulfilling and confusing, simultaneously. Tightening its grip around, yet, liberating like never before.
Is she thinking of stepping out of the circle? Is she scared to imagine what would happen if the circle took the shape of an infinity? It could be positive infinity or negative infinity. Both of them compelling her to embrace the no moon along with the much adored full moon.

Is she stepping out?
Is she staying up for it?
Or, can she have it her way? :)